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Jay Currie

One Damn Thing After Another


Armed and Dangerous

Next time wussy Mark Steyn goes on and on about how safe his little American town is because all the citizens are packing, we might remind him that Canadians are way too tough to need guns:

The moral for a man who broke into a Newmarket home just after midnight yesterday: Don't underestimate an older couple with an attitude and a few good kitchen implements on hand.

A good thing for the intruder that Gladys, 59, didn't find her rolling pin. If she had, he might have had a few more bruises to add to those he got being shoved down the stairs and pummelled by Gladys' husband Clifford, 66, and then struck repeatedly in the back by Gladys wielding her metal tea kettle.

"I couldn't find the rolling pin so I picked up the first thing I saw," Gladys said yesterday as she sat beside her husband in their modest home. "I wish I had found something heavier. If I had thought faster I would have got my rolling pin from the kitchen drawer."

"I grabbed the telephone and phoned 911 while I heard my husband struggling in the basement," the 5-foot-tall woman said. As she dialled, Clifford smacked the intruder with every ounce of energy he could muster in their dark basement.

"He fell down all 10 stairs and I ran down behind him," Clifford said. "I grabbed him around the neck and kept punching him and punching him and he rolled over on his back.

"He kept yelling at me to stop hitting him because he was on drugs. But I told him I wasn't finished with him yet."

Clifford said the culprit tried to kick him but he managed to get away, then grabbed the culprit's feet as he ran upstairs.

Once upstairs, Clifford took the phone, and that's when Gladys went into action.

"I turned around and saw this tall man trying to get out of the back door, and I thought to myself, you son-of-a-gun," Gladys said. "I picked up the kettle and started driving it into the back of him and he kept trying to get out the back door.

"He never said anything. I just kept hitting him until he got out of the door. I knew I had to protect my husband with everything I had."
toronto star(hat tip: acccordian guy)